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What kids need from parents during divorce

No matter how amicable it may be, divorce is still painful. For parents going through a divorce, there is the added stress of how to help children understand and cope with the fallout from it. Many times, kids may not understand why mom and dad have decided to make this painful decision. For kids, they only witness the resulting instability and start feeling uncertain about the future. Parents can lessen a child's anxious thoughts and nervousness by following these tips during the divorce process.

Tips for Parents During A Divorce

  • Don't fight or argue about divorce proceedings or agreements in front of your children. These concerns should stay between the two of you or your attorneys.
  • Don't use your children to send messages back and forth. This should be the role of a neutral third party, again, such as your attorney.
  • As hurt or angry as you may feel towards your spouse, don't ask your children to take sides. It's unfair to them. The lasting damage this can create on the psyche of a child is immeasurable.
  • Most children want both parents in their lives. Unless there is evidence of abuse, do not keep the children away from your former spouse. Not allowing a child to spend time with the other parent may cause feelings of anger and resentment by a child towards you in the future.
  • When it comes to the welfare of the children, try hard to agree on financial issues. These are human beings who need constant love and nurturing, especially during such a difficult time.

Less Stressful Alternatives To Contested Divorce

If parents can come together for the best interests of the children, mediation or an uncontested divorce are excellent options. These methods reduce the stress in the lives of both parents and children. If possible, consider mediation -mediation is a much more collaborative process. A mediator's role is not to enforce anything but help both parties come to an appropriate agreement. During mediation, a strong focus can be placed on child custody and what will help and benefit the children going forward. This often creates more flexibility for both parents, as well as possibly increasing feelings of goodwill.

An experienced family attorney can discuss the mediation process with you more fully and help guide you through it. If you have questions about divorce or family law in general, please contact us.

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